Societal MisCommunications

“We listen, we don't Judge"

"We listen, we don't judge", has to be the best and worst couple social media challenge. The concept is beautiful. How it was executed was painful. When we communicate the best thing we can do is listen. Truly listening, is having the time to hear what the other person has to say and have reflective responses. That means, responding with statements such as, "I hear you", "I get that", "I have been there" etc. Or asking questions such as, "what was that like?", "How did you feel?" or more questions for details of the experience. We should not be thinking about what we are going to say next to hurry the conversation along. This is where emotional intelligence and confidence plays a part. You would have to have confidence in your emotional capacity that you are able to retain whatever you were about to say to that person, and speak it later on in conversation. Moreover, when you listen and think about what they are about to say from a different point of view, consequently, it is without judgement.

Now, this trend typically lead to heartbreak, which completely invalidates the point of the exercise. Heartbreak has nothing to do with judgement. Heartbreak is tied to betrayal. Betrayal leads to a different type of communication. When you feel like you have been betrayed, you need to be able to effectively speak on your emotions and the boundaries that were crossed. Suggested statements that can be used for those conversations are, "I feel..." and "I don't like, I am not comfortable with, That was inappropriate etc.".

However, these examples of communication are a good rule of thumb without heartbreak or conflict. Healthy communication begins with the ability to speak about your emotions without frequent hesitation or intensity. It also entails, assertiveness and understanding of your own personal boundaries.

This blog is also a section in the Become Habitual workbook which helps with reconditioning skills to be more habitual in communication, emotional regulation, physical wellbeing being and other areas within 28 days.

https://www.brookspsychology.org/challenge-page/cfa755cd-325d-44d8-aba8-874786e996b6?programId=cfa755cd-325d-44d8-aba8-874786e996b6